My Bloody Valentine

Jensen Ackles in My Bloody Valentine

Yes peeps, this time I did a mainstream film instead of an indie. Mainly because I've been hearing a lot about this movie, and everyone knows that I adore a good slasher! So here are my thoughts on My Bloody Valentine.

Jamie King and Jensen Ackles in one of the only uneventful scenes.

10 years ago the town of Harmony suffered a major massacre on Valentines Day when an insane miner killed tons of people. 10 years later, Tom(Jensen Ackles), who was one of the few who escaped the serial killer, returns to Harmony to settle his dead father's estate. He doesn't get a welcomed return after the psychotic miner returns and begins killing again. The only one in Harmony he can trust is his old flame, Sarah(Jamie King) who has married his old friend and now Sheriff Axel(Kerr Smith). Now Tom has to face the demons of his past as the town folk begin to drop like flies and fingers begin to point to him.

Jensen finds a very unpleasant Valentine

My Bloody Valentine is a remake of the 1981 cult classic by the same name. Now I have not seen the original, but after seeing this film I plan on doing so. It's obvious that the director and screenwriters were going for that old school feel, and it actually works. Some of the camera angles could have been better, but the movie still shines. It's good gory fun, which is rare in today's mainstream cinema. This is the first mainstream slasher/horror film that I've actually liked in a very long time. And the ending! It had me guessing! It took me a minute to figure it out, and thats rare for me.

Kerr Smith and Megan Boone play adulterers! Filthy beasts!

The acting is actually good too, I mean, this was meant to be a fun, popcorn munching flick, none of these actors were there to get Academy Awards. Still, Jensen Ackles pulls off the whole 'guy haunted by disturbed past' very well. I've been a fan of Jensen ever since he played Eric on Days of Our Lives. I pretty much grew up with him, plus his facial expressions are not laughable like most of the goofs in horror films these days and his character shines through. Kerr Smith is another actor who deserves some note. Like Jensen, Kerr has become somewhat of a idol for teenage girls. Both of these actors have proven that their teeny bopper days are far behind them and they're ready for more serious stuff. Kerr pulls off the asshole sheriff well. Jamie King, what can I say about Jamie King? Hmmm... it's almost as if she rented every slasher film she could get her hands on and watched all the parts with screaming women in it over and over to research her part. There is nothing special she brings, or even tries to bring to the role. But like I said, no one is in this movie for Oscars!

Jamie King and Megan Boone do their best 'freak out'

As for the film itself. It's not an atmospheric piece. By that I mean, it doesn't set a creepy mood and the setting just didn't have that spooky factor to it at all. Its the same old foggy forest and the same old dark tunnels and the same old abandoned shack that we've seen in every horror film. With that said, I honestly don't believe that this film was meant to be seen like that, I think the people who made the film just wanted to give die-hard slasher fans a show. And they did!

Don't you just hate it when psychotic miners get in the way when your trying to get a frozen pizza? It sucks!

The blood and guts in this movie practically drip down the screen, but not in a bad way. Somehow this film manages to use a bunch of blood, but not over do it in a way to where we're all like yawning by the end. They keep it looking real, unlike filmmakers who just throw the buckets of gore at the camera and call it a wrap.

The film also pleasantly surprised me by not making me wait 30-45 minutes before I get to see some real gore! 10 minutes in they just throw you into the deep end! Theres no hesitation whatsoever! You get to see at least 20 dead people before the main characters get to say page of their script! The miner just goes medieval on all these people! It's intense, I'm not even gonna try and act tough and say 'It wasn't that bad' because it was!

The crazy miner 'picks' on Jamie King! Get it? Because he's trying to murder her with a pick axe? Hehehe! It's funny!

Then there was the nudity! This chick stays nude for a full 4 or 5 minutes, and believe me, you get to see it ALL! I'm talking full body! It all just hangs out right there for ya to see! Then the crazy miner chases her... while she's still completely in the raw! It's insanity! I was sitting there going 'What!' Don't get me wrong, she's very nice to look at... I mean REALLY nice... I actually felt kinda dirty watching it! LOL!

I guess she's running away from good acting skills... I know I'm mean! She wasn't that bad!

So, my main point is that this movie is great for those horror fans who like kickin it old school and for those gore hounds who just want to see the red stuff spewing out. This movie is a must see for any horror fan! So go rent it! Theres also a way you can see it in 3D, but I think you actually have to buy the movie to see that.

Houston... we have a creeper, and he's in a miner outfit.

Until next time! Stay away from mines and always remember to make sure blood isn't coming out of your drier BEFORE you open it... just watch the movie and you'll get it.